A few weeks ago I was at one of my lowest moments. I was driving home from the grocery store, on the phone with a friend, crying. I was beyond exhausted, stressed both emotionally and financially. I was questioning everything about my life and myself. My friend, although she has not had to walk in my same shoes, listened with understanding. Then she asked " how can I help?" Please understand that this friend asks how she can help quite often and I am SO thankful for that! I'm blessed to have a group of family and friends who are always willing to help out with anything at anytime. Sometimes I don't even see the need before they have met it! But on this day when my friend was asking how she could help all I could do was sob into the phone and say I don't know! Sometimes the needs are so great I cant begin to ask for help. According to U.S. Census Bureau, out of about 12 million single parent families in 2014, more than 80% were headed by single mothers. The median income for families led by a single mother in 2013 was about $26,000, one third (⅓) the median for married couple families ($84,000). Nearly half with an annual income of less than $25,000. Single moms are rapidly becoming the new normal. A lot of people don't know how to help single parents. They don't want to overstep so they often do nothing. Or worse, they get caught up in the stereotype that we are all lazy and living off welfare & child support payment (ha!). Speaking from my own life, I see how single moms are not easy to help. We are often hardened and have a deep need to feel independent . We know some days we need help but don't always know what to tell others when they ask how they can help. Or we are worried about what you will think of us so we just don't ask for help Here are 10 ways you can reach out to us Single Mama's: 1. Offer to pick up kids or drop off kids at their extracurricular activities. As a single mother I feel like I live in my car. There is nobody to share the stress of shuffling kids & there is nobody to complain to about it either. Some days it is nice to have a friend offer to do the running either one way or another so I can cook, clean, work on school work or go to the grocery store. 2. Check on her. I know that a little after 9am each Monday morning a sweet lady from church is going to call just to check on me and my kids. She will ask about our weekend and our week ahead. This is something that wards off loneliness and takes only a few minutes. 3. Running into town anyway? Why not call up that single mother and ask her if she needs anything. I promise, if she does she wont give you her entire shopping list! Chances are she wont let you get anything for her ( we can be kinda hard remember). But the gesture will truly make her feel less alone for days to come. If she does let you grab some much needed household items go with your heart on letting her pay you for them. Her pride is a powerful thing, but so is the love that you are showing. 4. Don't assume anything. Ever. Please. Don't assume just because shes single that she doesn't like to have married women for friends. Don't assume a single mom wont want to join in functions or activities with the non-singles. Don't assume we are to busy or broke to help or take part in things. Don't assume shes depressed. Don't assume shes fine. Don't assume shes happy. Don't assume shes stressed. Just don't. Instead take the time to get to know her and her kids and don't judge her. She needs your friendship more than anything. 5. One time a friend had offered to pick up my kids from practice while I went to the doctor. I had been horribly sick for several days. When I came home she & my sweet kidos had picked up the living room, done the dishes that were in the sink, taken out the trash and wiped down the counters. Now, my kids are amazing, however with out her thoughtful nudging and supervision I doubt these things would have gotten done. I still treasure her for seeing a need and meeting it. No money spent. No questions asked. Just showing love. 6. Speaking from recent experience car troubles can be the worst kind of troubles for single moms! We are hard working, intelligent creatures who can usually figure out how to change the oil, fix the headlights and put air in the tire. But when the wheel bearings go out or you have engine trouble it is very nice to have a knowledgeable person to diagnose the problem or even offer to fix it! 7. Think practical. Although a gift card for Bath & Body Works or Target is very nice most of our needs are practical, every day things. Gas cards, grocery store coupons, hardware stores and pharmacy gift cards are more useful. Even though we can usually get assistance for food and clothes sometimes we need things like over- the- counter medicine, trash bags, light bulbs & other things government programs don't cover. One of the best things a friend has done for me was to give me her Kroger gas points so I could fill up my tank for cheap! Its not about the money. Its about showing that she is not alone. 8. Compliment her kids and let her share their accomplishments with you. Something that is hard for me is that I cant share the joy of my kids accomplishments with their dad. Its just nice to have someone notice your kids good behavior. I love having close friends and family to share in the good times not just the bad. 9. Shes not perfect, but shes not just a statistic either. See her as a person. See her family as a real family even though they are lacking another parent. 10. Let her repay your kindness. If your kind gesture moves a single mom to repay you by a gift card, good deed or other small token of gratitude. Just accept it with joy. Again....going back to # 4....don't assume shes poverty stricken or that shes being unwise with her budget should she decide to bless you for blessing her. As single parents we need to show an attitude of gratitude for those who are brave enough to reach out and see through our hard shell. https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/
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Good Morning all my Single Mama Friends! Today I feel called to just reach out and say this is for you! This is for the Mama who feels alone. This is for the Mama who is tired. This is for the Mama who has been up all night caring for a sick child. This is for the Mama who has to work while she'd rather be with her babies. This is for the Mama who has run until she is ragged. This is for the Mama who is struggling with money. This is for the Mama who's children aren't listening. This is for the Mama who is worried. This is for the Mama who is trying to provide what her sweet kidos need. This is for the Mama who is scared. This is for the Mama who is sad. This is for you! You....are....not....alone. Jesus knew about tired. He knew about scared. He knew about worry. He knew about loneliness. And he came to forever be with us. "Teach them to obey everything that I have told you to do. You can be sure that I will be with you always. I will continue with you until the end of time.” ~ Matthew 28:20 As we go about his work and raising the sweet children he has entrusted to us he promises that he will be with us until the end of time! If you feel alone, remember He is here. If you are tired remember that the Joy of the Lord is your strength. If you are worried remember that God cares for the flowers & the birds but his love for you is far greater so of course he will take care of you! You are not alone!! If you would like more encouraging single mama for Jesus posts please check us out on Facebook. Single Mama For Jesus A family can be made many different ways but
will grow better with God & his love in the center. |
AuthorI'm a single mama of 2 great kidos seeking and searching for Gods will in our lives :) Archives
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